december blues.

last year. the year before that. and finally this year. yep. i therefore conclude that december is NOT my month at all! i have two written accounts saved somewhere in my documents (year '06 and '07) that described how i was on the month of december during those years. written during the first week of christmas break actually. i didn't get anything informative from those reads.

stupid (but a rather possible) reason: my serotonin level drops during the month of december. laugh all you want. lol

causes of depression (really) for year '08:
(1) research study that's making me go nuts in the head.
(2) research respondents who DO NOT RESPOND.
(3) completion. arg!!
(4) case freakin study (it's easy except research is screwing with my head)
(5) nokia 1100 that i love so much that got stolen :(
(6) my globe simcard that im very much dependent on. i need my contacts
(7) sty on my left eye that hurts very much (humabol pa for year '08)
(8) the spare phone that i use for my sunsim (nokia 2630) fell from the computer table and now the LCD's broken. :( im now using the other 2630 spake phone
(9) work-freakin-sheets.
(10) my plans of studying over the break-------hopeless.

needless to say, im not very fond of december.

i hope year '09 will be good to me.

Top 15 most played in my ipod

(1) the masterplan - oasis
(2) viva la vida - coldplay (im just so sorry they're being sued by joe satriani for this song.. it's NOT a basket case if i say so myself...)
(3) everything we had - the academy is (dutymates hate this. no comment.)
(4) deep inside of you - third eye blind
(5) thunder - boys like girls
(6) walk me home - mandy moore (seriously it helps me sleep)
(7) disease - matchbox 20
(8) sunday morning - maroon 5
(9) float on - ben lee
(10) when did your heart go missing - rooney
(11) brick - ben folds five
(12) don't look back in anger - oasis
(13) later - Fra lippo lippi
(14) High - James Blunt
(15) Insensitive - Jann Arden

i stopped using my eyedrops (without consulting my MD) 3 days ago because of chest pains.. it was starting to freak me out.. the longest one lasted about 3-5 minutes.. chest pain is finally down to 1-2 times a day from the usual 5-6 times... the first day i stopped the drops, the chest pain frequency went up to 9 times.. that was a painful day (saturday..) today(monday) i only had 2 (maybe still counting but im hoping nottttt) ....and... headache is becoming a frequent visitor.. again.. so im torn... eyedrops or not? chest pain or headaches? FUCK! i hate glaucoma!!!! i fucking hate my genes!

one year without yellowwwww.

yellow-ish theme..

except we're not yellow-ing :)

it's been a year lap!
.puffpuff no longer.